The Microsoft Man Can!
by Harry's Gal
Summary: Ok Dumbeledore makes a deal with Microsoft, and Ginny has some problems with her leg plz r/r!


The Microsoft Man Can!  
  
A/N: Hello I am pretty new at uploading stuff and that so um… if you like it plzzzzzzzz review so I know to write more and I have also got a fic called 'The Real Harry' So if you like this you might like that if you reckon it' scrap I am only 11 so plzzzzzz go easy on me!  
  
  
  
All the students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were gathered in the Great Hall. All except for Ginny Weasly who was in the Hospital Wing with a snapped off leg. One of the staircases had been left wet and Ginny fell down and off snapped her leg. There had been a terrible uproar because they had been left wet by Argus Filch, the caretaker. He had to be fired of course. No one missed him or Mrs Norris, his cat.  
  
Dumbledore stood slowly up from the staff table (Dumbledore was extremely old).  
  
"Everyone I gathered you here to tell you something very important. I am sure no one hasn't heard about Ginny and her er- leg snapping off," said Dumbeldore trying to stifle a laugh, his blue eyes twinkling.  
  
"Well anyway, we are now in financial debt to the Weasley's."  
  
Ron shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  
  
"We need to pay them 200,000,000 galleons compensation and we don't have that kind of money. So we made a deal with Microsoft, a muggle computer company. We have made it so we can only use that kind of el-ec-tres-ity," Dumbledore struggled to pronounce 'electricity'. "We use their computers and they pay the compensation to the Weasley's. So here to tell you more is Bill Gates!"  
  
The muggle borns were in awe, including Harry and Hermione. Bill Gates, who insisted they call him the B-man, explained who he was and what he did and how much he was worth, first in pounds, then galleons. Awes and wow's spread through the hall.  
  
"Man he's a bloody rich dweeb! Cool!" said Ron. "I should tell mum to try get some more compensation for Ginny's leg!" Ron told Harry.  
  
Dumbledore explained that everyone would now have computer classes on their timetables.  
  
Bill (sorry, B-man) stood up. "Now I have to bid you good night! Zork!" he snorted dweebingly.  
  
Harry woke up the next morning and headed for breakfast. There, he found Ron and Hermione, cackling with laughter. Harry quickly checked to make sure he hadn't left the zipper of his jeans undone.  
  
"No Harry, it isn't you! Look at Bill Gates!" said Hermione howling with laughter.  
  
Harry stared at Bill, who was obviously trying to fit in. He was wearing a wizards hat, but was wearing tight checkered pants and a t-shirt saying 'I'm with stupid' with an arrow pointing to the left, right where Snape was sitting. He was not at all amused.  
  
"New timetables fifth years!"  
  
Harry looked at his timetable.  
  
"Computers first," he said. "Should be interesting."  
  
"Dad's going to be so jealous," Ron said.  
  
As soon as Harry, Ron and Hermione were finished they headed to the computer classroom. The classroom was filled with rows of individual desks and on each desk sat a computer. Ron, Harry and Hermione chose desks at the front of the room. A few minutes later Bill Gates arrived, followed by Professor Snape.  
  
"Hello everyone," Bill waved at everyone. "In case you weren't paying attention last night, my name is Bill Gates, but you should call me B-man. I'm the teacher today, but seeing as I'm not a teacher," he snorted and laughed at his own lame joke, "Professor Snape is here in case of any," the B-man made quotation fingers, "accidents. So let's have some fun!" he snorted and laughed again.  
  
"Now to get the hang of Microsoft Word, I want you to write a 1500 word essay on 'Why Michael Jackson is the greatest pop star ever'."  
  
Snape gave the B-man an evil look at the name Michael Jackson. Bill Gates laughed nervously, "No? Not Michael Jackson fans? Okay, why don't we sign everyone up with Microsoft Hotmail?"  
  
Harry and Hermione logged onto the Internet quickly and started trying to choose their Hotmail names.  
  
Ron was looking a bit confused and was trying to write the internet login and password on the computer screen with his quill.  
  
"No Ron," the B-man said kindly. "You have to use the keyboard. See?"  
  
Ron continued to scratch at the screen with his quill. Eventually Bill logged him in and got him into Hotmail.  
  
"I can't think of a screen name Hermione," Harry said frowning. "Help me think of one!"  
  
"Honestly!" Hermione tutted. She leant over and typed 'lightningbolt@hotmail.com".  
  
"Oh that's cool," Harry said. "What's yours?"  
  
"It's 'pornstar@hotmail.com'," Hermione said.  
  
Harry started laughing and couldn't stop, until eventually he was crying. Hermione eventually hit him on the head with her copy of "Hogwarts: a history".  
  
"Ouch! That's a thick book Hermione!"  
  
"I've done it!" Ron said. "I've got my screen name!"  
  
"What is it?" Hermione asked.  
  
"'Redhead@hotmail.com'," Ron said proudly.  
  
"Feel free to hang out in the Microsoft chatrooms! Zork!" B-man yelled from the front of the classroom.  
  
Pornstar has logged into #microsoft  
  
LightningBolt has logged into #microsoft  
  
Redhead has logged into #microsoft  
  
ThePotionsMaster: Hello Newbies!  
  
LightningBolt: Professor Snape????  
  
ThePotionsMaster: Potter! What are you doing.  
  
Pornstar: What the B-man told us to!  
  
ThePotionsMaster: Granger? Is that you?  
  
Pornstar: Yes professor.  
  
ThePotionsMaster: What are you doing with such a vulgar screen name? 20 points from Gryffindor!  
  
LightningBolt: I didn't know you could use a computer sir. What are you doing?  
  
ThePotionsMaster: Nothing! Uh..ah… and I am most certainly NOT looking up pornographic material! 30 points from Gryffindor Potter!  
  
ThePotionsMaster has left # microsoft  
  
LightningBolt: Okay… did NOT want to think about Snape looking at porn!  
  
Pornstar: I don't know. I think it's kind of funny.  
  
Redhead: You would.  
  
Wolfman has logged into #microsoft  
  
Wolfman: Hi. Severus are you in here?  
  
LightningBolt: Professor Lupin?  
  
Wolfman: Harry?  
  
DogStar has logged into #microsoft  
  
Dogstar: Hiya Moony!  
  
Wolfman: Hiya Snuffles.  
  
LightningBolt: Hiya Snuffles. What are you doing here?  
  
Dogstar: Well, Snape said he was going to give us some links to some…ah… educational websites.  
  
Wolfman: Yes Harry, I was looking for some information on… ah… boggarts! For my third year class.  
  
Pornstar: But sir! You taught us that in our third year!  
  
Wolfman: Hermione?  
  
Dogstar: You probably shouldn't have a screen name like that Hermione.  
  
RedHead: Says he who is getting pornography off Snape!  
  
Dogstar: Ron?  
  
Pornstar: You've been quiet Ron.  
  
RedHead: Yeah, I can't type properly.  
  
ThePotionsMaster has logged into #microsoft  
  
ThePotionsMaster: Black, Lupin here are those links I promised:  
  
http://www.sexalot.com  
  
http://www.asiansex.com  
  
http://www.naughtygirls.com  
  
http://www.youngnakedchicks.com  
  
Pornstar: Professor Snape?  
  
ThePotionsMaster: Potter! Granger! Weasley! 50 points from Gryffindor for being in a chat room!  
  
RedHead: But we're supposed to be in here!  
  
Wolfman: Uh… be back soon. Gotta check some sites (  
  
Dogstar: Uh… yes… me too….  
  
Wolfman has left #microsoft  
  
Dogstar has left #microsoft  
  
LightningBolt: This sort of stuff scars a child for life.  
  
Pornstar: I agree. 


End file.
